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Ships by Wed, October 14
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Some calendars just tell you the date.
This one has opinions.
Flip to January and the dachshund is already complaining about the weather.
February? He's judging your breakfast.
Every month pairs a new scene with a line straight from the dog's own mouth — dry, a little rude, and exactly what she'd say if she could talk.
Hang it by the fridge and you'll catch yourself reading it out loud.
✓ Twelve Months, Zero Repeats
No repeats, no filler. Twelve original scenes, each paired with a caption that actually lands.
✓ The dog talks back
Every line is written like the dachshund said it herself — sarcastic, dry, and a little too honest.
✓ Still a real calendar
Open-grid layout with room to jot down plans, so the humor never gets in the way of function.
✓ Looks like it belongs there
Straight out of the envelope and onto the wall — no assembly, no extra parts.
✓ Built for a full year on your wall
Sturdy printed pages that hold up month after month without curling or fading.
What you get today
Calendars are printed once per year. When the run is gone, it's gone until next season.
Bring Sasstooth to your wall today
Is the humor actually funny, or is it corny?
Each month pairs a scene with a caption written from the dog's point of view, so you can see the tone for yourself before it ever reaches your wall.
Does it come pre-punched for hanging?
Yes, it's ready to hang straight out of the envelope with no assembly needed.
Is there space to write in appointments or notes?
Yes, the open-grid layout leaves room to jot down plans for each day.
How long does shipping take?
All orders ship free with tracking so you can follow your calendar's progress to your door.
Please check the product description and options above for details about this item.
We love our products and are confident that you will too! That’s why we offer a 30-day return policy. If you're not satisfied with your purchase for any reason, you can return or exchange it within 30 days
We offer Free Shipping on all orders within the USA.
Every package is shipped securely with UPS, and you’ll receive your tracking number within 1 business day so you can follow your delivery every step of the way.
Customer reviews
Real photos, sent in by customers. No stock models, no styling — just what turned up at their door.
3,700+ verified reviews
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“The delivery was smooth with UPS and I got my tracking the next day. Everything went exactly as promised, which is not always the case when ordering clothes online. Big plus!”
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